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Based on the advice from the book I am reading, which is a recovering overeaters biography and how the author was able to overcome her problem, I have been tracking my food.  I’m not being hardcore in my tracking because that triggers an OCD response in me where I start thinking about food constantly.  My goal for this last week was to be more aware of my eating habits and what I was doing around eating.

I thought that I did a good job of being concious of my eating – not the choices of foods, but how I was eating.  Each day, I would only eat when I was hungry.  My meals would be eating slowly and conciously, then stop when I felt satisfied.  I know that it wasn’t perfect, but one particular meal has stood out to me.

I just disconnected from myself and robotically stuffed food into my mouth.

On Saturday, my husband and I ordered a pizza for lunch.  I was hungry when we ordered it, but I was really hungry by the time it arrived.  The whole meal was just inhaled by me.  I even felt very uncomfortable  while I was eating that way – you know, the beyond full feeling.  But I just kept eating.  What a big mistake.  There was no reason for me to have done that.  I didn’t feel sad, or depressed, or even anxious about anything.

I just disconnected from myself and robotically stuffed food into my mouth.

Fortunately, it only happened that one time and while I was unable to stop myself – or refused to stop myself? – at least I was concious of what I was doing.  So now I can start combating it.  Perhaps pizza is a trigger food.  One of those comfort things that I use to disconnect from myself and just be a robot. 

Sweet things, colas and other Sugars

Another issue with my eating habits are sugars.  I drink coffee with sugar, sodas, and juices.  Desserts are the highlight of my day and I constantly crave (or think about): yogurt, ice cream, chocolate, breads, cookies, etc. 

This craving is particularly difficult for me to overcome.  I can been successful at removing most simple sugars from my diet, but I have a fear of being denied these sweets so I usually overdo it when I let sugars in. 

From another approach, if I allow myself to have sugars, then I usually can’t stop at just one.  The best thing I can tell is that  if I have some kind of sugar food, I need to eat it in the evening with water.  Or have water after.  That usually helps curb any additional craving.

Also, drinking sodas in the evening is a bad idea for me.  I notice that I don’t sleep as well at night and I usually wake up with a very dry throat and dry eyes.  I can tell I am dehydrated.

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This Memorial Day Weekend, my husband and I went to San Fransisco to see a friend.  We had a great time – good sights, good food, good company.  I think I had a little “too much” fun, because my scale told me I was 270 lbs on Tuesday.  So with my weight, my journey keeps spinning in circles.  It is so painful to know that I have allowed myself to get back to this weight, especially after the 6 months I spent in a medical fast.

Many times, when I eat I feel almost out of control – like I can’t help myself.  Sometimes I eat and I am not even hungry.  The food is just there and I don’t want to…lose out?…I’m not even sure how to describe it.  There is a test on OA.com that I took; based on some readings (and the quiz), I believe that I am an addict.

If I am not an addict, then there is truly no hope for me to win this battle of my weight.  But I exhibit all the signs of an addict at one time or another:

  • I eat as a “comfort” – to escape from my problems, even for a little while, and feel the “comfort” and “safety” of eating.  I put comfort and safety in quotations because  too often the reason I am seeking comfort and safety is because of my weight, which is where it is because of my eating patterns!
  • If I am not eating, I am thinking about food.  If there is food present, then that is the forefront of my mind – as opposed to just enjoying the company of my friends.
  • I eat in secret, binge-eat, or deprive myself of food.  I eat when I am not hungry, hide the evidence of eating, and find that when I start eating I feel like I just can’t stop.
  • I eat moderately in front of others – often making healthy choices, then make up for it later with sugars and starches (cookies, ice cream, chocolate, sodas).
  • Eating is tied to my mood.  I eat to comfort myself, to pacify, deal with stress, as a reward, to numb my sadness or unhappiness.  Later, I usually feel extreme guilt, disgust, and remorse for what I have done.

There are many more symptoms, but these are the ones I most relate to.  I have a book that I am reading to help me work through some of this, but to be honest I’m just not sure how well it will work out.  Overeating, and Compulsive Overeating, is not something that is talked about openly in my country.  But based on some of the readings I have done, I imagine that many more of us suffer from this than we realize.

I can’t rewrite my past, and I’m really not sure why I’m participating in all of the destructive activities that I am, but I do want to change and I have some tools available to me to begin this change.  If anyone else wants to join me, or needs support, I hope that this blog can be a tool for both of us to heal from the past and enter into a healthy relationship with food.

 

Day 7 Weight: 260.6 (+1.0 lbs)

Day8 Weight: 258.6 (-2.0 lbs)

7 Day Fast, Total Loss: -6.4 lbs

Product Review

What is in the Kit?

The GNC Total Lean 7 Day Fast Loss Kit comes in a neat little box for about $50.  Included are 7 vitamin packs, 7 chocolate flavored meal replacement mixes, 7 vanilla flavored meal replacement mixes, and 7 orange flavored “pre-cleanse” drinks.

A pamphlet lays out the benefits of each item – vitamins, meal-replacement, and pre-cleanse – each combining to boost your body into fat fighting mode before undergoing a full fledged diet.  The pamphlet also includes a 1500 calorie a day meal plan as well as exercise recommendations.

Following the plan as it is laid out, you would start the morning by taking the vita-pak along with breakfast or one of the shakes.  The vita-pak includes a green tea pill, 2 water pills, and 2 “Burn 60” pills.  Basically, these pills enhance energy, boost metabolism, and help shed water weight.

The Pills

I was a little skeptical about taking a water pill everyday, mostly because I didn’t see the point.  Everyone knows that water weight is the first to go in a diet, right?  Well, that is true, but the reason our body retains water is because it has become toxic – through the environment we live in as well as the foods that we eat.

The body feels like it needs to hold on to the water to survive.  The premise with the water pills is that the body will release the excess water, and our jobs is to replenish the water through better eating and drinking habits.

The Menu

The GNC associate that helped remind me of this also shared with my husband and I that he had followed the fast.  He recommended that we simply ingest the components of the kit plus one healthy meal each day.  He also let us know that adding milk made the supplement more substantial as a meal re-placer, and suggested that we take a multi-vitamin as part of our daily regime.

My husband took most of his meal replacement shakes with milk; I didn’t hear him say anything negative about the taste, so I assume he preferred drinking them that way.  For the most part, I drank my shakes with approximately 8 oz of filtered water.

When mixed with milk, the shake is much “thicker” in consistency.  Very fibrous, almost.  I’m not sure how to better describe it; it was less pleasant than I expected.

Adding ice to my morning shake made it very pleasant, and heating up the shake for a “hot chocolate” was also quite nice.   Depending on the type of milk you consume, you are talking about adding 90-150 calories per “meal”.

Taking just the meal supplements during the day gave you 360 calories (with 1% milk, 540 calories).  Following the 1500 calorie diet, you had a deficit of 1140 calories.  To me, that is insurmountable for 1 meal, assuming the goal is to have a healthy meal.

My husband and I both added 2 small snacks to our day, ranging from 100-200 calories each.  Dinner was a reasonable salad with soup or sandwich.  I would estimate that we ate somewhere between 1000-1300 calories per day.

My husband was quite hungry the first day, but I noticed that he adjusted pretty quickly to the regimen.   I also felt the same hunger for the first day or two.

To fight the hunger pangs, we both increased our water intake during this time.  I usually drink about a gallon of water a day (sounds like a lot, but it’s only 128 ounces).  My husband and I supplemented our water intake with the following:

– Green Tea/Peppermint Tea:  A citrus-y, hot green tea really helped calmed my stomach when I was hungry.  Normally, I add sugar to my tea but I found “Mandarin Orange Green Tea” by Lipton to be great by itself.  Peppermint (or mint in general) is a great deterrent from hunger, so both of us reached for a hot cup of mint tea in the evening.

– Superfoods Supreme, by GNC:  I don’t know that this helped with hunger but it’s a powder that you mix with water, so drinking the extra water helped with filling up the tummy.  There is some fiber in mix that also lends to a full feeling.  Increasing green food in my diet has been a goal of mine, so doing the fast was as good an excuse as any to add it in.  I finally remembered why it was a good idea to add green food to my diet, which I’ll share in a later post.

The “Cleanse”

At the end of each day, we mixed the orange pre-cleanse concentrate with water and drank it up.  The cleanse is intended to gently flush out toxins and clean your colon.  This may be T.M.I so feel free to skip this part if you don’t want to know about it.

Gas.  That is what you can expect while taking the “pre-cleanse” drinks.  And…it can be stinky!  All of the products in the Fast Loss Kit are fiber-packed, so what else would you expect?  The cleanse also helps regulate your system, but I didn’t notice anything excessive (like a famous lemonade cleanse warns about).

The citrus-y, refreshing flavor of the “pre-cleanse” drinks was probably the most looked-forward to part of the day for me.  I could probably drink it every day.  Not that I’m recommending that, because I’m not sure what the effects would be.  It just tastes that good.

Conclusion

Weight loss of a certain level was not a goal for this week, and 6 pounds is a little shocking.  I was expecting more like 2 pounds.

I was hoping more for a “reset,” to get my mind and my body in line with eating less calories and being more conscious of what I am doing to myself everyday in terms of nourishment.  I know I have a long way to go, but this was definitely a step in the right direction!

I would recommend the kit for use by anyone wanting to kick start a healthy eating regime.

Weight: 259.6  (+0.6 lbs)

Mood:  Feeling so much better!  I think I’ve finally beat this head cold.  DH (Dear husband) and I have done really well on this fast the last week. We haven’t felt unduly hungry, and while the shakes can be a little gritty, their taste is pleasant.  The other day I heated my chocolate shake up on the stove as hot chocolate – it was really comforting.  The “pre-cleanse” drink tastes an awful lot like mild orange juice.  I’ve also noticed during the last 6 days that gotten satiated much faster during dinner than before.

DH has asked me to fast a little longer with him while he is going through a job interview, so we’ve decided to do the 7 day fast for another week.  For the next three days, however, we are also going to fast from the dinner portion of the plan.  Instead, we are going to replace the regular meal with a raw meal.  Today, we are going to make green smoothies.  My husband also wants to try a recipe we found from Living Raw Food, the Pineapple Cilantro Shake.

Once we’ve made these, I’ll post pictures and reviews (although we’ve had the green smoothie already and it IS SO GOOD!).

Weight: 259 (-0.8 lbs)

Mood: I am still fighting off this cold, but I can’t believe the impact this fast has had.  My husband has also noticed weight loss; he’s told me he’s lost about 5 lbs so far this week.

I am hesitant about so much water weight loss, so I hope that at the end of the week we can take the momentum we’ve created here to push us onward.

GNC 7 Day Fast Loss – Day 4

Weight: 259.8 (-.8 lbs)

Mood: Much better than yesterday.  I took some Nyquil, so I’m getting this germ-y stuff out.  I did not take the Superfoods supplement yesterday, and my water intake was lower than normal.  Overall, I am very surprised with the results so far.  I think that my excess salt intake over the last month or so in playing into this large weight loss (from retained water), but I’m definitely going to take what I can get!